 |
| Guy Jacobson |
First, I have the utmost respect and empathy for those of you working for our Friend of the Court system, and more for those who have stayed for so many years! How would the circuit court do its job without us, and who would parents call when they need help? We really do provide essential services, but many people love to hate us, and we are a big dumping ground for domestic relations complaints. We are directly involved with people’s money and their children—very intense, and emotional subjects.
I remember at the time I started this work, there were no cell phones, laptops, and emails were a new technology. I shared the use of one computer with several people. I hand wrote my custody reports and gave them to a secretary to type. There was no Michigan Child support Enforcement System (MiCSES).
My journey began with interstate child support, as the current staff of investigators had decided that the next vacancy would be assigned all the interstate cases, as they were sick of the massive paperwork involved, slow progress, and dealing with out-of-state agencies. It was a challenging job, and often frustrating dealing with miscommunications, and delays, but I grew to like the position and finding out how this work was being done in other states, and making connections in the various central registries and workers in the local offices.
It was while working on interstate cases I realized that many states did not provide services for parenting time, and custody issues, and the few that did, were very limited. Some offered establishment, but no modifications, mediations, or enforcement. I did begin to feel sorry for these parents when I had to tell them that our only agreement with the other state is to solely collect child support, knowing that they could not receive a parenting time service from the state in which they resided either.
My next position on my journey was conducting custody investigations, and this was not my choice. I was very nervous about interviewing children, and making recommendations regarding them, but it further increased my understanding of the importance of these services that were not child support.
Mediation, and the power of helping parents make their own decisions was an empowering, healthy option for appropriate parents, and can be very satisfying for the mediator. This led me to pursue a master’s degree in counseling.
Parenting time complaints or enforcement was a key in understanding what works for parents and enforcing access to children as outlined in our court orders is essential for making parents accountable and supporting children’s rights. If you develop a good custody and parenting time complaint program, you will reduce the need for investigations, modifications, and court hearings. Changing terms from non-custodial/custodial to mother and father has been a positive paradigm change, language is powerful; we can do more with empowering words.
Many of our parents really just need help with their co-parenting, and communication, and the private sector is just not a realistic option for many due to the expense. Spending time on co-parenting, although not a mandated duty of the Friend of the Court, is certainly not a waste of time, but a time saver. If you can allow time for co-parenting meetings, often these parents don’t even need other services or court time.
My journey went from a job that was 100 percent IV-D funded to a job that is zero percent IV-D funded.
Michigan could be a beacon of light for the nation to understand the importance of custody and parenting time services. There should be no Personal Activity Reports, or insignificant parenting time help, because a county doesn’t have the funds to provide adequate staff to provide these services.
In closing: be supportive of each other; we are and need to be in this together. Nobody can do this work on their own. Keep a sense of humor, and please do take care of yourselves.
Guy Jacobson, Long-term Friend of the Court employee
