Insights from Customers Who Also Staff the Program

By Amy Lindholm, Management Analyst, SCAO Friend of the Court Bureau

As promised in the last Pundit edition, we are bringing you insights from parents who are both customers and friend of the court (FOC) professionals. We launched a form last edition to collect lived experiences from your colleagues who were willing to share. This is part of our ongoing attempt to learn from the customers we serve and improve services accordingly. 

To prompt insights, we asked a series of questions. One was to describe the emotions parents encountered when going through the early stages of a domestic relations case. The majority of responses spoke of confusion and fear. More than one person used the word “overwhelming,” and another said “terrified.” However, one person felt “understood.” There were also responses describing the process as feeling “punitive” or making a male parent “anxious” due to not seeing himself represented in the female-dominated field.

Desired Outcomes

All the parents mentioned concerns about time with their children – either in a formal custody arrangement, hoping not to be separated from children while awaiting an outcome, or hoping to see their children as often as possible. But there were also concerns about child support. Some expressed they hoped to receive a fair amount of child support, as well as hoping the amount would not be so burdensome that the paying parent could not support himself or herself.  Others expressed fears that access to the children would be restricted if the parent was not in compliance with support payments.

Understanding What Was Happening and Feeling Heard

We have often heard from parents and other caregivers that they felt lost in the process when their case was in the beginning stages. We asked parents who also work in the program how well they understood what was happening and if they felt they had a say in the outcome.

Responses about the level of understanding ranged from “limited” to “solid,” but the trend in explanations was that understanding of the process increased when the parties had an interview or “conciliation” (now called facilitative and information gathering conference) with friend of the court staff. Similarly, feeling that their voices were heard seems to have increased at the point of friend of the court involvement or if the parents were able to reach their own agreement – with the exception of a father who felt he didn’t “have much of a say in anything” and that it was “out of [his] control.”

Sources of Confusion

We hoped to gain some insight on the most common sources of confusion from parents who have had time to reflect on their experience and have worked with other parents going through the process. Not surprisingly, the difficult-to-decipher legalese of forms and paperwork was mentioned. Parents also expressed not knowing what to expect from friend of the court involvement. A paying parent detailed confusion about how enforcement of his support obligation would actually work. He suggested, “I wish there were videos… or a formal in-person workshop. I think counties would benefit from taking the [SMILE] program to another level and requiring litigants to go through the program so they have an understanding of what to expect and what’s expected of them.”

Helpful Interactions

One person detailed the reassuring affirmation from the hearing officer about her family’s parenting time schedule agreement and how it made the parents feel more confident that they were making a decision in their children’s best interests.

Parents also praised friend of the court staff communication, such as: process explanation; keeping open lines of communication; asking before concluding a meeting if parent(s) had any other questions or concerns; and the importance of keeping in contact and informing the friend of the court of any changes.

What They Wish They Had Known Then

In the survey, several parents repeated wishing there had been more information accessible about the domestic relations case processes and friend of the court services.

A few of the parents also provided detail about specific areas including the importance of customer service, well-explained services and options, and domestic violence screening:

• “[Working for the FOC] has been a huge eye opener for me. I feel like the FOC office and workers have always been deemed as mean, non-caring, etc - when, in reality (in most cases), I don't believe many people actually know exactly what the FOC does. We can't ‘throw someone in jail’ for not paying their child support. We can't ‘tell him/her to give you your kids back, or go get your child/children for you.’ We can't tell you what you should do. I've learned that the FOC is here to enforce the court order. I've learned that there are many steps that need to be taken when someone is behind in their child support. I've learned that a little compassion to someone who doesn't know really does go a long way. I try to treat everyone the way I was treated and like to be treated - knowing they're going through something tough.”

• “I wish I had known that the FOC is not just a punitive place. It can be. The processes are there. I wish I had known that the FOC, while they cannot do things for me, can point me in the right direction to get the help I needed. They can offer assistance in more areas than just enforcing my order. I wish I would have known the overview of what the FOC does and how it can help or hurt me. It would have made my experience as a payer much easier. When it was my turn to be the custodial parent, I wish I would have known those same processes but from the other side -  how I could use the FOC to help me get the things my son needed and not struggle myself.”

• “In my case there was a lot of physical and emotional abuse that I was scared to disclose for multiple reasons. I wish I would have been stronger and followed through with establishing a child support amount. Because I claimed there was no abuse, we were allowed to opt out of the FOC services for child support, which at the time I felt was the most important thing for my safety. I think the one thing I would say is that I wish the judge and the FOC would have questioned me a bit more and offered more services or counseling on opting out. I have never received child support because I opted out and we have felt the financial strain for the last 16 years.”

Stay Tuned for the Next Parent Panel Webinar

We appreciate learning from the experiences of parents who staff the program and being able to share with readers. Additionally, we are excited to highlight some of these parents’ voices in a webinar this summer. In June 2022, we will highlight your colleagues in our fourth parent panel. Keep an eye out for an announcement and registration link from the Michigan Judicial Institute.

Amy Lindholm holds a Bachelor of Arts degree from Kalamazoo College and a Master’s degree in Public Administration from Grand Valley State University.  She came to the State Court Administrative Office’s Friend of the Court Bureau after managing a small international development nonprofit agency and previously working in a friend of the court office.