In the emotionally charged world of custody, parenting time, and child support, every friend of the court (FOC) needs as many tools in its toolset as possible to engage noncompliant or even stubborn individuals. We often deal with inherently good people whose judgment is clouded during our interactions with them because of the emotions they are struggling with.
The Macomb County Friend of the Court (Macomb FOC) first learned of motivational interviewing from the administrator of the Macomb Juvenile Court. The juvenile court trained all of its probation officers in motivational interviewing and found it very effective.
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| Randy Estes (far right) from the Center for Strength-Based Strategies based in Mason, MI, conducted the 2-day motivational interviewing training for our child support audience and some of the Macomb Juvenile Services staff. |
The concept of motivational interviewing fits well into the positive changes in recent years in Michigan’s child support program. As we move towards problem-solving concepts to help resolve family issues, motivational interviewing can help steer us in the right direction. At the Macomb FOC, we decided to send many of our front-line child support and parenting time enforcement personnel for the two-day training in spring 2019. We also sent front-line supervisors, referees, and custody investigators. As word got around about our upcoming training, a few state employees from the Office of Child Support (OCS) and the State Court Administrative Office Friend of the Court Bureau (FOCB) requested to join our training, including coauthor Amy Lindholm, which we were happy to accommodate.
What is motivational interviewing?
Motivational interviewing is an evidence-based communication method that teaches positive assumptions about human nature, including the desire and ability to make behavioral improvements. Randy Estes, the trainer for our Macomb group, describes motivational interviewing as “a way of using questions and statements strategically to help people think and talk in a positive direction.” The technique started with Dr. William Miller in Milwaukee in 1973 as a method for treating substance abuse. There have since been over 300 clinical trials in various fields – largely in medicine, psychology, and counseling. Many corrections and juvenile justice departments now use the technique, as well as local health departments.
Some of the concepts of motivational interviewing that deal with long-term outcomes could be difficult to use in child support positions which do not engage in long-term relationships with litigants. However, some other aspects of motivational interviewing are particularly effective for responding to a person who is reluctant or angry, which is common even in brief child support conversations.
The Macomb Training
During the training, we worked with real-life examples by pairing up and interviewing each other on our own issues and desired changes. At other times, the whole group practiced an interviewing technique with one volunteer. For example, we practiced asking open-ended questions to try to move one person from ambivalence about his desired change to actually feeling ready to make the change. Had we been unsuccessful with our questions, we could have unintentionally nudged him in the wrong direction – sustaining the negative behavior. Randy also lectured and showed some short video clips.
We discussed common conversations in the realm of custody, parenting time, and child support, and how to elicit relevant “change talk.” We learned that when a litigant says, “I want…” or, “I can’t stand this anymore,” these are cues to you about that person’s desire for change, known as “change talk.” Randy instructed, “Important change words come out of their mouth, and then you say it back to them.” This repetition helps people recognize their own desire to change.
Randy also taught us that the heart and demeanor you bring to the conversation is crucial. If you show the litigant respect and curiosity about the conversation, it helps that person feel truly heard and comfortable sharing more. You can follow up initial change talk with something like this: “If (the desired change) ever happened, what would that be like?” You should have a calm, patient presence when practicing motivational interviewing, and do more asking questions and listening to the responses than providing feedback, guidance, or interpretation. Fully listen to the person before offering anything, and then ask if it would be okay to express feedback.
The technique is effective because people keep coming back; rather than having an experience that feels disheartening, people feel that they have developed a relationship and can gain something positive from a future interaction.
Another tip that we learned from Randy is that you have to resist the “righting reflex” of correcting people or suggesting behavior changes to them. Usually a person who is pushed in a given direction reacts – often negatively. Instead, in motivational interviewing you reflect what the person is saying and stay with the person in his or her reality. You can say things such as, “This is really hard for you,” instead of, “You wouldn’t have this problem in the future if you just followed your court order.”
Child Support Application
One important concept that we learned has to do with the normal sequence or process of change. Most of the time when any of us are faced with a potential change in our lives, we transition through these questions:
1. Should I? ➠ 2. Can I? ➠ 3. Will I? ➠ 4. How do I?
As domestic relations or child support professionals, we usually have a specific end goal in mind for our clients – comply with court orders and do what’s in the best interest of children. We tend to skip straight to the “how do I?” piece and immediately lay out a necessary course of action. Of course, if they do not comply, we are disappointed and frustrated because we took the time to lay out the exact steps they needed to take. What if we could increase compliance by reframing how we have these conversations?
Much of motivational interviewing’s success hinges upon being able to evoke someone’s intrinsic motivation – you, the interviewer, are able to guide the interviewee to self-motivate.
To do that, you have to view noncompliant parents as reluctant versus resistant – they are not inherently opposed to change, but they may be unwilling or unready for a change. Motivational interviewing training provides conversation tools to help lead people to change-readiness. Some tools are as simple as being sure to ask open-ended questions instead of closed questions. Other tools are similar to techniques you might learn in mediation training, such as summarizing and repeating back what you heard the litigant say, emphasizing the important change statements in your summary.
We can probably all recognize that people generally want a better life. Motivational interviewing teaches us to become partners with our litigants in achieving that goal. As Randy explained at the training, “We work with people because there’s some kind of behavior change—probably a targeted behavior change—that needs to happen. That change is a positive change in their life, and as much as possible on their terms.”
Because motivational interviewing is really a framework for communicating, it can also be useful in a variety of interactions, including those with your coworkers or your teams if you are a manager. We encourage readers to look into adding motivational interviewing as a tool for your office. Any questions about Macomb’s training can be directed to Tom Blohm at (586) 469-5750. For additional insight about using motivational interviewing in the child support context, Amy Lindholm and OCS Support Specialist Stacey Riley will be offering a session at the Michigan Family Support Council’s Fall Conference in October.
As editor of The Pundit newsletter, Amy encourages readers to contact her with feedback, article ideas, and article submissions at any time.
